Tribute Wall
Friday
12
November
Visitation
6:00 pm - 9:00 pm
Friday, November 12, 2021
H.A. Kebbel Funeral Home
119 Talbot Street East
Aylmer, Ontario, Canada
(519) 773-8400
Saturday
13
November
Funeral Service
11:00 am
Saturday, November 13, 2021
H.A. Kebbel Funeral Home
119 Talbot Street East
Aylmer, Ontario, Canada
(519) 773-8400
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Glenda Nagy posted a condolence
Tuesday, November 16, 2021
My sincere condolences to Murray and the Stephens family. Jean was a special lady and will be truly missed. Let your good memories help you at this difficult time.
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Sandra posted a condolence
Sunday, November 14, 2021
Condolences to the Stephens family ❤️ I had the pleasure of knowing Jean while caring for Murray . She was the kindest gentle soul who loved live and family . Everyone was welcomed by Jean . She had a sense or humour and loved taking care of Murray They were a special couple . Heaven has definitely gotten an angel ! Until we meet again RIP Jean ❤️❤️
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Amanda Irwin posted a condolence
Sunday, November 14, 2021
What a wonderful woman, I am so sorry to hear of Mrs. Stephens passing. My condolences to her whole family and Church family.
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Chuck and Michelle Davis posted a condolence
Sunday, November 14, 2021
Dear Nancy, Cathy, Tom, Tim and families. Our deepest sympathy on the passing of your Mum. She was indeed, a beautiful lady. Chuck and Michelle Davis.
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Sandy Polson posted a condolence
Saturday, November 13, 2021
Jean's passing on November 11 gives an even more important meaning of Remembrance Day to the Stephens' family & friends. She was the real meaning of role model to all who knew her. Jean got her wings today. Lucky Heaven.
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Jerry and Wendy Herter posted a condolence
Saturday, November 13, 2021
My deepest condolences to Murray and family. Jean was a wonderful woman with a beautiful smile full of love. May you be comforted and strengthened with happy memories. The memorial video speaks volumes about the woman she was.
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Pat Cripps-Walker posted a condolence
Saturday, November 13, 2021
My condolences to Murray, Nancy, Cathy and the Stephens family. I will always remember Jean as a very kind lady with her beautiful smile.
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Neila Lawson posted a condolence
Saturday, November 13, 2021
what a wonderful lady with a wonderful smile! my deepest sympathies.
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Judy Nelles posted a condolence
Saturday, November 13, 2021
Sincere condolences to the Stephens family. Pray that your hearts and souls will find peace and comfort during this difficult time. Jean & Murray were genuine in their deepest love and respect not only for each other and their family, but for all....wonderful role models who we could all learn from.
Blessings, Judy
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Diane posted a condolence
Friday, November 12, 2021
My deepest condolences to Jeans family. I had the honor of getting to know Murray and Jean and most of the family, while working for Care Partners. We had many laughs, great chats and even dancing in the living room. Murray and Jean were one of the most genuine couples I have ever had the pleasure of getting to know. An amazing love, for one another. My thoughts are with you all during this most difficult time.
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Craig Fraser posted a condolence
Friday, November 12, 2021
Jean was very kind and generous. I enjoyed her upbeat, playful personality and sharp wit. Her happiness, energy and relationship with Murray are an inspiration for how I want to live when I enter old age. Condolences to the family
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Karen (Kristoff) Palmer posted a condolence
Friday, November 12, 2021
What an amazing, touching, beautiful tribute! May all those memories carry you through this difficult time and fill your heart where sorrow now rests......
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Pat Ethelston posted a condolence
Friday, November 12, 2021
Thinking of you all with much love.
Patty
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Marylu Fulkerson posted a condolence
Friday, November 12, 2021
Dear Tim
Sending my thoughts to you and your family. You were blessed with a sweet mother
May your happy memories get you through this difficult time
Marylu Fulkerson
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Don Breen donated to AYLMER BAPTIST CHURCH
Friday, November 12, 2021
Mydeepest sympathy your mum, husband was loved well like by many. The Stephens house on Fourth Ave was known by many the house of Jean and Murray Stephens and family. Jean was always smiling a glow on her face. Shes in heaven now with the Lord, I also remember Jean and Murry going for coffee with my late parents. She will be missed by all I was one lucky one to meet her. God Bless
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Andrew and Rosa Peat donated to AYLMER BAPTIST CHURCH
Friday, November 12, 2021
Our most sincere condolences of your mom's passing. It was always nice to meet up with her at the office or at a social function. However, the past few years were difficult for her. But for now she will be watching down on your Dad from heaven. Will keep you in our prayers in the days ahead.
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Lori Maloney posted a condolence
Thursday, November 11, 2021
Murray, Tim, Tom, Cathy and Nancy. Tim and I are thinking of you all at this difficult time.
I have wonderful memories growing up in our neighbourhood going back and forth between our houses. I will never forget all of the good times our families had together. Your mom will always have a special place in my heart. Xo
Lori and Tim Maloney
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Frances Kamps McKeon posted a condolence
Thursday, November 11, 2021
My deepest condolences to the family. Jean was a beautiful soul, her smile and unwavering love for her family was admirable. Murray and Jean were a big part of our lives growing up in Aylmer, and continued to be close friends with my parents after they moved to Tillsonburg. I feel blessed to have known her and her lovely family. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.
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Sandra Den Harder posted a condolence
Thursday, November 11, 2021
My sincere condolences with the passing of dear Jean. She will be missed by all who knew her. Every time I saw her, she had a beautiful smile and we would have a nice chat. Strength for the days and weeks to come. Thinking of you all.
Love Sandra Den Harder
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Karen Hilliker posted a condolence
Thursday, November 11, 2021
Oh Murray, Tim, Tom, Kathy, Nancy...All of us who loved Jean have such great memories of her. Mom & Dad & Murray & Jean had such good times together. Her positive, bright outlook on life and her sense of fun - those are the things that first come to mind and will remain forever. Aylmer and Aylmer Baptist mourn today but are sooo much richer for having her in our lives. Love to all of you and your families. Karen Hilliker
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Timothy Stephens uploaded photo(s)
Thursday, November 11, 2021
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I have 68.25 years of clear, unclouded memories with my mother. Of course, any daughter or son of my age would have similar. But here are a few of mine, past, present, & a bit of future.
There are equally vivid memories from before I was born. My involvement in helping Mom put together her memoirs educated me on her past life events I did not know until she told me to cement them into a book of memories for the family. She had an amazing life & if she wasn’t so humble, I thought her story could be a best seller. Her adventures as a child of immigrants making their new home in St Thomas, Ont, are for another time.
More recent new memories are due to the regular FaceTime sessions her caregivers at Valleyview Senior Residence facilitated for me. Much admiration and thanks to Michael Carroll, Mary Anne McMullen, Amanda Switzer, Mark Minor, & many more too many to mention, including the lockdown wing and the staff there who made Mom’s stay pleasant. Special thanks to Laina Patry and the recreation staff for their patience and reliability, especially with spending hours on FaceTime. Those were great digital visits, and Mom was the star of the show. As much as her brain may have betrayed her, her imagination was extremely entertaining. Mom’s profound musings would fill another book of mostly fiction but based on fact. It would be an intriguing story for anyone, especially if you did not know her before dementia. However, if you knew her, you may think differently. “Why… you should take more care, you work so hard, Tim. And, why...you have such a beautiful wife & Why- how about all your children? Why... we are so happy you visited. Why, you can come anytime. Are you hungry? ” (my mom would often interject ‘why’ at the beginning of a sentence for no reason other than a customary emphasis): Why, maybe the only family would completely understand!
As recent as the end of Sept 2021, Lynne & I visited Mom & Dad in person. We always hooked up the Apple box to their TV & ran thru family pics of family ranging from old pics of them dating & getting married through to their great-grandchildren. They loved big band music & Mom was a great dancer. She knew how to follow. All that was good; she did better than good.
Mom’s commentaries about what the pics were all about were from her head in another era. I’d be showing on screen & naming people. But of late, she would name them different. Sometimes she thought I was her Father or Brother. When that first started to happen, I would correct her. But eventually, it seemed best to play along in her world. And that was fun! When seeing pics of her Grandkids on the screen, we would say their names and Mom would provide the narrative of what they were doing in the pictures. She could be severely concerned in a serious situation she was making up & laughing at the same time. It was all fantasy from a part of her brain activating old memories. Her years of responsibility for her little baby brothers would come into play. Mom’s Mother was too sick to be the children’s parent. So Mom learned to parent her siblings very early in life. She was the young guardian. No wonder in her last years, she mixed me, her firstborn, up with her little brother, my Uncle Bill McAffer, who was only ten years older than me (RIP). It was highly entertaining to hear Mom’s rendition, stating matter of factly. I saw the humour in that, only if I was in a non-judging frame of mind, to listen to her talk to me, or about Bill, or her mother in that way...as if they were all right there with us. The veil is thin.
The last & best, most recent face-to-face in-person meet-up happened just before I caught my flight back to Vancouver at the end of September. I happened to arrive at Valleyview Senior residence unplanned as they were eating lunch. The scene in a nursing home is often somewhat sad, but we soon made this particular lunchtime one to remember. Picture me sitting on a swivel stool beside Mom on my left side, nearly shoulder to shoulder. Just as close to my right, I could swivel to face Dad, nose to nose. We all sat as together & as close as we could be at that square dining room table.
Feeding my parents like babies was a first! It is the most intimate I have ever had the pleasure of being in the moment with Mom and Dad. They are the most in the now people I have ever experienced. We played with the food, shared each other’s dishes and completely consumed every morsel on their many plates and every drop in their several cups. I dropped food on Dad’s shirt and dribbled coffee down Mom’s chin. The atmosphere went from being nervous I would do something wrong to laughing. We were the last ones in the dining room while the cleaning staff tried to get rid of us. It felt like we were kicked out! It is not the first time my mother has been kicked out of a similar place. We are so rigid in our thinking about what older adults should be doing to make our young lives easier. But I digress.
This is certainly a Remembrance Day I will never forget: November 11, 2021. My plan to start reading the Bible on our next FaceTime gig is for another place & time. I’m not sure Dad will be as interested in that as Mom, but it is still my plan. I think we all know Dad will want to be with her soon, so I am catching a flight out of Vancouver tomorrow morning, November 12, to be with those of us yet living. Mom will be there, even if we will be late for visitation Friday evening with those still hanging around. I hope you can—darn flights in covid times. But I will be hanging around Kebbel’s all night long & for most of the following week. My mom-in-law Carol McLay’s “Aylmer Penthouse” (as I say) is above the funeral home.
Mom has been courageously sailing toward death for a while. I made a point of telling myself I was ready. But I am not. I miss her dearly already, and it's only been 7 hours since my sister Nancy told me the news. It hasn’t quite hit me. I am too busy making arrangements, trying to get all my kids back to my ‘homeland.’ All thru trying to compose this, the texts, emails, & messengers are flying. There was no time to cry until my youngest daughter texted: “I’m sorry, Dad, I tried to look into flights etc. too. I will be there in spirit. What songs do you think of when you think of grandma? Did she like Loch Lomond?” Just then, Lynne came in from buying travel-sized errands with a song clip file sent to her phone from my youngest daughter. I will try to include her beautiful rendition of Amazing Grace here.
All those who encountered Jean Stephens loved her. My Mother always greeted people as if she knew them. Her caregivers, friends and family, physicians, strangers thought the world of her. She often would say to anyone the same thing as she would say to me, with a smile: "You are beautiful, and I love you."
And so we were, to her. And so she was, to us.
Be safe, stay healthy
Tim Stephens
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Taymarah (Walker) Centanni posted a condolence
Thursday, November 11, 2021
Dear Stephens family
Sending sincere condolences from the Walker family. Jean will be remembered as a gentle, kind, and loving friend to all of us ... and, she will mostly be remembered as being deeply devoted to her family, the Baptist church, and her community. Hoping a life time of warm memories will comfort you, during this time of grief and sadness.
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Linda Kamps uploaded photo(s)
Thursday, November 11, 2021
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Sherry Marlatt posted a condolence
Thursday, November 11, 2021
Aunt Jean will be truly missed. She always had a giant smile and warn laugh when I would visit. Miss you Aunt Jean
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The family of Jean Stephens uploaded a photo
Thursday, November 11, 2021
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